The "Behavioral Snack" Board: For When Life Needs a Little Seasoning
Are you tired of your kitchen tools being one-dimensional? Do you want a product that says, "I enjoy fine cheeses," but also says, "I will absolutely send you to your room without dessert if you test me"?
Introducing the Dual-Threat Paddle. It’s part artisanal charcuterie server, part "attitude adjustment" device. Whether you’re serving brie or serving justice, we’ve got the dimensions to get the job done.
Why You Need This
- Aerodynamic Excellence: The 12-inch reach ensures you can hit the target—whether that’s a hungry guest reaching for the last olive or a metaphorical "behavioral correction."
- Small Batch Charcuterie: Perfectly sized for a "party of one" or a very small, very well-behaved group of two.
- The "Thud" Factor: Our 0.75″ Thick model provides a satisfying sound when placed firmly on a table to get everyone’s attention.
- High-Quality Finish: Smooth enough for your finest prosciutto, sturdy enough to survive a "warm-up" session.
Legal Note: This product is sold as a novelty kitchen accessory and decorative item. While it is excellent for "warming up" your appetite or displaying meats, the seller is not responsible for any "extracurricular" uses involving humans, pets, or unruly teenagers. Use with common sense and a sense of humor.
Don’t wait until the chaos starts. Get the board that handles the snacks and the sass in equal measure.
Hand Mirror or Cheese board;)
— All items sold at Whipping Wood are sold as NOVELTIES ONLY. The ownership of Whipping Wood takes no responsibility for injury or any other complications that may arise from use of any of the items listed on this website. Descriptions and visual references are for conversation only and not meant in any way to imply any suggested use of said novelty items.
— Like each tree in the forest is different, so is every item made from that tree. This is the beauty of a handmade piece and hopefully part of why you are here. Because no two paddles are exactly the same, please understand there may be slight size variations from the listed size. However, we will ensure that there is less than a 1/4″ variance from any listed dimension.
Specifications:
Thin:
Length from handle to tip: 12″Length from side to side: 3.5″
Thickness at the thickest point: 0.32″Thick:
Length from handle to tip: 12″Length from side to side: 3.5″
Thickness at the thickest point: 0.75″
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